How do you deal with the stress of these insane days?
Stress can be wicked in the way it affects the body, in the way we use to cope with it, and in the way it takes over our relationships. It seems like most of our days are consumed with dealing with one stressor right after another with no end in sight.
What stressors do you have?
Job security? Intimacies? Family dynamics? Illness?
And probably many more like some new uncertainty or how to stretch a dollar a little more.
We can shove our feelings of fear about the unknown or we can let it consume us; each choice not a good one.
How do we deal with it without using some defense system that we have developed over the years?
Unlike the way I learned—push my feelings down out of sight–the Pathwork way is to look at the part of us that wants to continue in the same old defense.
Right now my two cats are at a stalemate—one little older female hissing and screaming at the other larger male. My first instinct is to jump up and break up the potential fight. But what if I don’t; what if I let them work it out?
Is it possible that my interference is contributing to the issues between the two? (The reality is that the fight is about food…little female wants large male’s food. He doesn’t really care but wants to have a companion. She wants no part of that!)
What other defense systems are in operation when stress hits?
We might use a substance—alcohol, drugs, food, sex, shopping, gambling, playing video games, reading a book, learning a new skill, reasoning out why (and asking why doesn’t get us anywhere—if we knew why it still wouldn’t help us)…and hundreds of others. Or we might withdraw into something that we can tell ourselves is good for us. We can use anything to do this and need to check inside for our motives. What can be something good for us (like meditation), can also be defense when we use it to not feel the stress.
I’m calling all of you to investigate this yourself! What’s your preference? How do you use it to cope?
Then there’s the question of how that defense lands with others. If we are being honest deep inside, we would see how the defense system that we have developed hurts us. It drives others away or makes them attack. Others may give up on us. They may develop their own ways of coping with our defense—the old “can’t beat them so I’ll join them”. This may last a while but finally makes them leave.
I doubt we want to be abandoned or rejected or criticized, but unfortunately the very thing we use to cope with stress is probably partly responsible for creating the very thing we want to avoid.
I don’t know about you, but I’m just trying to make it through the next stressful situation…it seems so shocking to look at it as my part of driving others away. Feeling the sadness right this moment…
How do you feel when you realize it?
You probably are asking (I know I am) what is the world is the alternative????
It’s so simple (not easy), just open my heart and feel what I’m feeling…that’s the secret…
And when we do that, we let in spirit. Spirit can show us what needs to happen next and we can trust that what we receive is real and true.
I’ve never known it to be wrong…every time I truly tune in, feel my feelings, and go with guidance, it’s the right thing. It brings me peace. Notice the order here…first feel what I’m feeling. Otherwise, the guidance that comes in may not be real or from a positive spiritual basis.
Eventually…not in my time necessarily, but it does happen.
I hope I can remember this one key for the next stressing situation that comes my way. And I pray that you can, too.